Friday, January 4, 2013

In 2013, I'm Back

What better way to start the new year than blogging at midnight because J came home late from an after-work dinner and woke me from slumber (though he probably did me a small favor since I fell asleep on my side trying to put Paloma to bed, again, because I wanted to make sure she saw me "sleeping" so she would then fall asleep, and my fake sleep turned into real sleep and I never readjusted my position and now my neck hurts).  Now, after moving to our bed, tossing, turning, reading British tabloids, raiding Pinterest, Instagram and Facebook status updates, I quit trying to talk myself into sleep, got up and raided the pantry for the chocolate and brownies I hid from Paloma and am currently stuffing face.

Thank you, Pinterest .
I love blogging and have been discouraged every time I think about being more consistent because I'm so good at being inconsistent.  That said, it's finally starting to sink into this wee brain of mine that life is a process.  Life is life.  Everyday isn't full of a great revelation or huge stride.  I won't be totally organized or find the perfect routine for Izzy's schooling all at once, but God knows our hearts and intentions, and every baby step, every effort counts toward the bigger goal.

Also, I love having a corner of the interwebs to write, read it back to myself and think, I'm hilarious (crazy, sane, fabulous, totally weird, etcetera).  It's sort of my sanity.  I do journal, or used to, but it hurts my hand to write so much since there's always so much going in my brain once I sit still enough to think, and also my Macbook is fried and in it is the expensive (to me) journaling software I now can't access because my operating system is now so outdated that I can't even sync it to my iPad app when I do get my computer to temporarily funtion.

Speaking of, I don't know when I fell so behind on technology, but when I went into the Mac store last week to look into buying a desktop for our home and heard the nice lady talking about the Cloud and Snow Leopard and lions in mountains, and all this other stuff I thought, I am sooooo stuck in 2008. When we get our desktop, I may have to register for one of those classes intended for Baby Boomers new to the touch screen world.  We're just to a point where we can't even sync our i-technologies to this computer because it's now too outdated as well, but at least it works!

Okay, wow that went on a little longer than expected, so back to the new year.  We finally chose a Bible verse for the year, before the new year!  Hooray!
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;  you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. -1Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV
The New King James Version reads "glorify God with your bodies", which I like more.  The point is, this year we're going to treat our bodies better, feed our bodies better, and ultimately (hopefully,) glorify God better.  So our key word is "glorify".  Does what we do, how we spend our money, treat others, treat ourselves, glorify God?  That's our family verse for the year.  I'm excited.

Next, I set a few personal goals for myself. In no particular order they are:
  1. Quit shopping online so darn much.  I found it's a coping mechanism for me, to avoid dealing with immediate issues at hand.  I also want to travel and this is a serious barrier to that dream.
  2. Quit all alcohol consumption at home.  It does me no good.  For starters, I begin my day behind on water.  Second, its turned into another coping mechanism.  Raising kids is hard work, but I chose it and I need to deal with it and live life more responsibly.  Relying on an Italian red and not Christ when I'm overwhelmed is toxic.  I look forward to adult beverages while on a date and/or out with friends! 
  3. Get stronger.  Develop muscle and stamina.  It's not about being skinny, it's about being strong.
  4. Pace myself more.  In everything.
  5. Get to know my daughters more.  Life moves at a blindingly fast pace, and even though I homeschool, it's easy to lose perspective and remember what life is about.  I want our daughters to remember the fun and the memories, not a stressed out mom who was always barking out orders.
  6. Surrender more.  It is hard to wrap my head around the fact that God is interested in and cares about the mundane details of our lives, but He does.  He wants us to ackowledge it and give it to him so we can move forward.  A lot of times I get all control freak, bossy and moody because I don't feel like I'm in control of something, be it a situation, an emotion, you name it.  Fear dresses up in many ways and  I get ugly when I'm subconsciously driven by it, especially a fear of failure.   
Well so much for starting small, right?  Even writing that down was a little scary, but you have to start somewhere.  I can't not start because I'm afraid I'll fail, again.  And I probably will, but that is okay, because I am totally conquering No. 4 this year!

Happy New Year :)